Monday 23 February 2009

Philippe Lespinard: hedge fund managers are chasing the holy grail of institutional money

That's what he told some newspaper. Philippe Lespinard is a partner at Brevan Howard. I suppose he thinks he knows a thing or two. But he has got this completely wrong. Sure, institutional money is nice. We all like institutional money. But there is something else. Something more important. Something that is full of love, in the desert. Something that hedge funds managers are really chasing. They are desperate to get their hands on it. Ucits limitations, ha!

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the mystic money flower! A rare flower that is rarely seen, in the friggin' desert of your dreams. And the nightmares of communists! The flower will kill them - just one touch! But if you are a capitalist, a lovely capitalist from a lovely hedge fund, the flower will give you eternal life! This means you can make money forever and ever and ever. Hold eternity in the palm of your hand! The mystic money flower will take you on a trip to a higher consciousness. It grows in the desert! Can you believe it? O my children, you must believe, and you must find the flower. Pick the flower. Pop it in your mouth. Swallow the flower. Let it grow inside you. You will live forever! Money forever! But you communist dogs, do not touch the flower! Do not go near it. For it shall poison you.